Monthly Archives: May 2016

Meditating mom or how to forget about children for a while

Meditating woman

 

Is it really possible to put everything aside? As practice shows, after constant meditation, it is, and the key word here is constant. You don’t have to be a meditation guru, you don’t have to take trainings, hang upside down, do crazy yoga asanas or quit your unhealthy habits. All you have to do is create a routine.

For me, the best time to avoid the trap of skipping meditation is morning. Morning is your emptiest time – it all goes messier from there. The temptation to avoid meditation and jump to the kitchen was so high at the beginning, that I had to use all my power of self-persuasion to actually make myself sit down with eyes closed for 15 minutes. 15 minutes is not much but it can be hell if you back hurts, if you’re hurrying, if there are people walking around, if everything is moving and you have to sit still and observe.

But this was just in the beginning; as always, beginning is tough. Later, when I created a routine, this routine became my guidance and there were no more thoughts on “why am I doing it?”

To start a day with meditation is one of the best ways to start a day, and of course I know some other great ways to start a day. In special cases postpone it, but try not to skip.

Why is it so important to meditate for moms?

Unlike jobs that most of us hate children is something that sticks deep on our cellular level and never totally goes away. Thoughts about our kids, inner dialogues, ideas for education and entertainment – aren’t these the best things to be occupied with? Unlike an unpleasant conversation with a colleague that you want to forget and you will strive to get away from, all the nice and less nice things related to children is something you don’t want to get away from – why would you?

This is why mom’s brain is constantly occupied with “nice” things and she, the mom, doesn’t always realize how deeply buried she is in the good stuff, and how great would it be to feel free from everything, including the good. To get away from the good is the hardest thing. To get away from the bad, from the annoying, from the disturbing is much more natural.

Now I see big bonuses I get from the ability to sink into abstract.

  • Thoughts get clearer – I am not lost in the ocean of thoughts.
  • I can still dream and wish for things, but in a more practical sense.
  • There is more energy to do things.
  • Housework becomes much easier. I don’t get stuck on it, I flow with it.
  • Self-awareness grows, and the ability to see and criticize myself (which is never a bad thing).

There are a lot of resources out there how to meditate – some people put music, some do it in quiet, some prefer listening to special bottling up sound waves. Some sit with their legs crossed, some sit on a chair, on a cushion, on the floor… The only way to find your style is to experiment. For me, no music is best, sitting crossed legs covered with a blanket. Better if you can be completely alone but since it is not always possible, is an utopia accept the reality and take it easy. Children and husbands running around is a gift when you think about it, as their noisy presence tests your ability to stand the disturbing elements and train your power of will – sounds good, doesn’t it?