Tag Archives: perception

life scenario

Life Scenario that is being rewritten

What is life scenario anyway? Who composes the script, who decides which way it will unfold? And the most important question: can life scenario ever be rewritten? Can it be shifted the way I want it to run? Can I change my role in it? Can I remove certain people and invite others? Can I really make things happen?

The following review is based on my recent acquaintance with the book “Busting Loose from the money game” by Robert Scheinfeld. This is my unique estimation and, therefore, may differ from other opinions, assessments and conclusions.

A breathtaking journey into the life scenario.

I see this book as a breathtaking journey to one’s deepest self. When assembled together as one segment Robert Scheinfeld’s words form a masterpiece. I see its main point focusing on life scenario that is being crafted (by whom? how exactly? This is what the author of this book is giving an answer to. Not just analyzing or philosophizing, but providing an eye-opening technique). At first glance (especially considering the title) it may seem like “another book” about the you-can-do-it thing. But it is not. Its content is SO much more profound than title promises. It’s much more sophisticated and yet, the strategy offered is so breathtakingly straightforward. The author uses clear words, transparent metaphors and this what makes the book so staggering – its striking simplicity, and its ability to get in touch with the reader. It’s like I’m sitting in some room and listening to the author narrating the words to me in person.

Striking and to the point. Not just another you-can-do-it book.

The author of this post is a meditating mom with a baggage of experience. Therefore, it’s really hard to blow her mind with just another book. However, this book became the missing piece of the puzzle, the complementary to the meditation, the milestone, the stroke or whatever you may call it. The topic of the book is not new – life scenario concept is an old tale. However, in the “Busting Loose from The Money Game”, Robert Scheinfeld has outlined the human potential from such a unique viewpoint, emphasizing creation and achievements from a new angle making it completely prodigious.

This is the reason why she – still carried by a mixture of joy, relief and surprise  – recommends this book to those who are ready. I bought it as an eBook on Google Books first, but then decided I should have it at home as a paper book.

How to read this book?

Whether this is your first book in the genre, or you have already been familiar with literature of this type before – the idea is to dive deeply into the content with trust. Otherwise, there is no sense beginning in the first place. This is not a novel or science fiction. These are guidelines. Skeptic moms, tired moms, moms who’ve “had it all”, moms who have no time to read from the first page to the last page (and this is exactly how this book should be read) – all these moms ought to swipe everything aside when getting acquainted with the idea of this book. I, personally, couldn’t read it at once. I had to digest every chapter for a few days, then move on. The reading pace is up to you, but the most important thing, in my opinion, is be consistent and advance as slowly as needed – word by word.

What is so different about “Busting Loose from the money game” compared to literature of the same genre?

Since everything is a matter of personal perspective, the author of this post, obviously, shares her own impressions.

No Nonsense Language

This book is written in extremely captivating, no-nonsense language. There is no attempt to impress the reader with unnecessary lingual sophistication, with excessive metaphors, with shocking exaggerated facts or anything of that kind. The content is extremely straightforward and to the point. The book is divided into chapters and each chapter has one or several Key-points. The main thought of a chapter or its part is concentrated in the key-point (which is one-two sentences).

No “Homeworks” or Brainstorming Assignments

Another appealing side of the book – it has no “homeworks” or assignmnets of any kind to be done by the reader (like brainstorming, writing things down on a piece of paper and so on). I am usually too lazy for these written assignments and I was grateful, that this book did not include any psycho tasks.

Extremely Well Structured

The book is extremely structured. It leads the reader step-by-step to the entire picture. It arises curiosity, excitement and the desire to move on. Since I felt that I can’t take more than one chapter per day, I had to depress my desire to bite off more than I can chew. But other readers may feel quite the opposite – that they have to run through quickly once and then move slowly for the second time. Regardless of your reading style, the book’s clear structure helps building your emotional and cognitive understanding and trust to the author.

Stories from Real Life

Personal examples – this is my favorite part – when the author shares personal experience and the way these are affecting their life. My blog is built exactly in the same way – I share only information I, personally, know (meaning, felt and experienced empirically). The real stories shared by the author are the best example of how things demonstrated in the book really work.

As a conclusion – the changes brought by reading and practicing are already being felt (and I am still in process of re-reading the last pages). The result of these changes is unknown and the timing of whatever is going to happen is also unknown. Which is something I couldn’t care less about. Getting exposed to this book may shake the usual picture of the world, may leave a memorable trace and fundamentally shift the track of commonly accepted thoughts, ideas and the conventional perception of the so-called daily life.

Knock loose thoughts that spoil the magic

Bad mood can be reached in seconds. But does a mom want it? How to knock thoughts loose? Thoughts that can spoil a sunny day, a romantic evening, a relaxing afternoon? I call these thoughts – laundry thought – and here you will learn, from my perspective, about the hidden danger in these seemingly harmless mental wanderings.

What are “laundry thoughts” and how to knock them loose? First, it’s important to recognize the wrong mental objects that appear in mom’s head at the wrong time: a cooking pot… a broom… carpet with scattered toys… speckled socks. You get the point. 

Imagine a mom walking home on a magic spring evening. Cool, refreshing breeze, full moon, twilight. Amazing night, and she does not even have a stroller to push, or loads of grocery shopping or anything like that. That mom is in the most romantic mood, which can be spoiled with just a hint of a thought. Let’s not spoil that mood, and here, in this post I am writing (from experience, of course), how to say “no” and knock thoughts loose. 

The worst thoughts to spoil a happy mom’s mood are thoughts about the mess at home. The laundry. The dishes. The homework. The laundry again (the wet, the dry, and the one in the machine). The unprepared dinner (even if for tomorrow, but why not think about it in advance). The toys, generously spread all over the place. The small Lego parts, waiting for the bare feet at the night time…

These redundant thoughts clamber into mom’s head in the most natural way, like undesired guests who call in the least appropriate moment.

So, just like you would say “no” to unwanted guests (unless they bring food with them), you can say “no” to unwelcome thoughts. Here is how I think about it: “These thoughts came to steal my energy, to spoil my magic, to gnaw from my happiness. I knock thoughts loose right away, I send them away on a speed train, I clean my consciousness from them with a magic broom. 

Awareness is the king

If a mom is aware enough of what’s going on she will chase them off, free her mind from the unnecessary cognitive activity, from the vain trouble-solving process (because it’s not actually solving anything), from the painful process of rewinding the dirty laundry of her life in a mixing bowl called “head” by a machine called “mind”. Once a mom is aware she will easily knock these thoughts loose. 

I know, that people like guidelines and lists, so here I prepared a short and comprehensive guidelines on how to recognize, avoid and knock loose thoughts that spoil the magic. 

Step 1: Knock thoughts loose – recognize when it starts

It’s the hardest and the most important step. Because once you catch the thought from its very beginning, you can get over it more easily. Tracking thoughts should be a mom’s healthy habit, something she does on a regular basis. When the “laundry” thought creeps in on a magic night with a sky full of start, a conscious mom has two ways to handle it: either she smiles to herself and says “No. This is not happening because I don’t want it to happen.” Another way is, if the thought brings a great degree of embarrassment or unpleasantness – mom can boil a little, then – puff – let it out. 

And here we come to step two:

Step 2: Knock thoughts loose: cut and replace the “laundry thoughts” by “magic thoughts”

Cutting thoughts to zero thoughts, stopping the process and staying alive is, in my opinion, kinda impossible. The author of this post surely cannot just hang in there not thinking about anything at all (though she tries and maybe some day she will do it). Therefore, the easier way to do it, for now, is to REPLACE the “laundry” thought by a “magic” thought. Something good that matters. Something positive that seems good for real (not something a mom has read in a book or seen in a movie). A wish to come true, an old dream – anything that brings the authentic, good vibes. Don’t try to fool yourself, don’t fake it – the thoughts should be about something that matters and it is the key point here. Otherwise, you simply won’t believe yourself and the trick won’t work.

Step 3: Focus, count, repeat.

It’s vital to focus on this positive thread, be it anything that makes you feel vigorous, powerful and happy. Breathing and counting works great, but if it sounds boring just walking out there counting and focusing you may try other technique. For example, repeating words that matter, words that help knock the laundry thoughts loose from your mind. I say to myself sometimes: “the sky is blue, the breeze is fresh, isn’t it a miracle that I can walk like this, watch these blooming trees, this graceful architecture, these fascinating cars. Isn’t it awesome that I can breath, smile, enjoy good food, listen to music, watch movies, read books, paint, dance, stretch, jump and feel good about myself?

Once it becomes a habit you don’t need to do the counting work anymore. Things happen naturally, you learn to stay focused on what YOU pick from the diversity of the world. You watch the movie you choose and you knock the awful thoughts loose in a wink of eye.

losing weight after birth

Losing weight after birth

 

Losing weight after birth and getting back to “jeans of my dreams” is an ambitious goal of almost every mom. There are these lucky slender amazons who had never gained weight in the first place, but this post is not about them. The author of this blog is a mom who bargains with every gram of her body, trying to scare them (the grams) away in the most natural way. So, here are three proven techniques for how to get rid of excessive self. These methods do work only if you have the full intention for them to work. No magic potions, no dried bats and no spells. Only work with one’s consciousness and some physical activity for dessert.

Set timed goals and objectives

Just “keeping it in mind” is not enough. A mom needs to have specific goals in terms of dates and numbers. Then, she should try to stick to the goal while keeping with her convenient lifestyle as much as possible. Losing weight after birth is a challenging task that requires some form of compensation for every small achievement. For example, every time my weight goes 0,5 kilo down and does not come back on the following it’s a good reason to celebrate another milestone. For example, I buy myself a piece of cloth that now fits me well: it creates an enormous incentive to keep on the weight-losing track.

I say no quick diets, yes to sensibility

Some people can get very serious about it. Can I live like that? Not yet. But I’m getting there.

I never touch sugar, cheese, bread…
I only like what I’m allowed to like. I’m beyond temptation. There is no weakness. When I see tons of food in the studio, for us and for everybody, for me it’s as if this stuff was made out of plastic. The idea doesn’t even enter my mind that a human being could put that into their mouth. I’m like the animals in the forest. They don’t touch what they cannot eat.”
Karl Lagerfeld

Source: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/dieting

Most of the girls have more or less tried diets in their teen-hood and I am no exception. I still remember these depressive hungry evenings when all my thoughts were concentrated around a loaf of bread. From today’s life position I see it as the most pathetic and the least effective way to lose weight. Keeping one hungry only means that she will compencate it to herself later and probably, will gain the same weight she lost in an unfair battle.

Sensibility and harmony in everything is the gift that comes with age, experience and awareness. It does not only refer to weight, but embrasses every life sphere. However, since right now the painful (cross line) topic is weight loss I will concentrate on that.

So, what does it mean, a sensible diet?

That means I am not rejecting but replacing. “Yummy” things go away and other things come instead. It sounds simple but it is not. How does a mom convince herself, that this very piece of amazing, shiny chocolate cake and this little cup of coffee next to it are not on today’s menu? How do I keep my hands away from favorite things that bring me from size S to S++?

Once the favorite things stop being my number one choice. Forever.

It is achieved by inner conversation and persuasion, by understanding and loving oneself. A bar of chocolate can be replaced by honey, figs, bananas and so on. Yes, I know it’s not fully interchangeable at the beginning, so a mom can come to some agreement with herself, and reduce the amount of chocolate and cookies she consumes by replacing the rest with honey and fruits.

Sports and fun

By sports, I mean all the fun things that mom likes to do that involve physical activity: dancing, walking, running, child-lifting, swimming. Anything works, as long as it is done on a daily basis. A fitness club twice a week is not as good as a 30 minute walk every morning. A swimming pool (how many moms have the luxury to go to the swimming pool every day?) once a week is not the same as 15 minutes of intensive stretching and push-ups done with joy (who said joy? OK, then without the push-ups).

The most important thing about losing weight after birth is let it happen in its own pace. It might take a year. Every mom, eventually, wants this weight to go away forever. This is why quick diets will not work here (not to speak about the danger of losing milk).

To lose weight forever means to be in peace with every extra kilogram and let it go when the time comes. The sports, the balanced diet and the targeted goals are something, that should accompany mom all the way through, with no relation to children, work, success or failure. An after-birth era just requires a bit more attention and concentration, but the general formula – goals, diet, sports – works for all times, good and bad.

open with my child

To be open with my child

I wish I could be as open with my child as possible. However, there are certain topics mom doesn’t need to share with her growing kids. Is is possible to build trust without revealing everything?

How open does a mom have to be when it comes to her personal life?

So, your daughter wants to know how things work in this life and she doesn’t mean electricity or space. It’s more about: relationships, love/hate, soups, children, mice and dirty socks.

As a mom, I know I have to be open, honest and authentic. I feel extremely proud, that she chose me as her primary source of information. I try to do everything to make sure she will not regret it. But on the other hand, how open does a mom have to be when it comes to questioning about her personal life?

What if mom does not want to tell everything? She can:

  • hide, by giving abstract meaningless answers or change the subject in a delicate way.
  • be honest and say: I prefer to keep this to myself. Everyone has the right to keep secrets period.

Naturally, as an honest and straightforward mom I’m choosing the second option. It took me time to get there, though. It did not seem so obviously right at first. “What’s the problem to be open with my child”, I asked myself. Here is the thing: there is no problem to pour your soul out as long as you feel comfortable about the possible consequences. The feeling of complacency is the indicator that things are going right. Once a mom has this uneasy feeling, this little “stop” sign that lightens up, that is the time to stop.

Does it actually mean a mom does not trust her kids?

Trust is one of the most important things, and the most vulnerable ones, too. It’s so hard to build and so easy to ruin.

Once mom keeps secrets from her children in an open way, it may convey a wrong message: “kid, I don’t trust you”.

Is it so, I’m asking myself? Can mom always be 100% sure her little one will keep the secret to themselves? And what happens if not?

These are tough questions with no ready answers. 

So here is bunch of reasons why being open with my child does not mean telling absolutely everything.

  • The desire to avoid accidental leak of information (friends, relatives, social networks).
  • The desire to avoid later discussion on the painful topic.
  • Shame of sorts (yes, once moms were young, brave and stupid reckless).
  • The fear of misunderstanding, misinterpretation (we are talking about age of 10 and up. People of the new generation might have a totally different view on a seemingly “obvious” situation their mom has been to).

Plus, this inexplicable factor of uneasiness to talk about a certain subject when it comes to personal life. (Why? Because).

Altogether – the conclusion is – if mom doesn’t want to share she does not have to. Just like her growing kids don’t necessarily have to share everything (and they won’t, take my word).

Success or Failure? Life scenarios we pass to our children.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Confucius
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/confucius.html

Mom’s fears and expectations are close relatives.

I have noticed long time ago this problematic relation of expectations from our children (and ourselves, our lives) along with subtle fears shall something go “wrong” (read = not as we have expected).

I see a big issue about it and take all measures to get rid of all possible future scenarios, leaving, perhaps only the frame.

Games People Play – one of my favorite

There is a very interesting book I’ve read many times by Eric Bern “Games People Play”. The author explains how we program our children (consciously or not) to a certain life scenario and how hard it is to get rid of a certain program that has been embedded into our brain since early childhood.

At the same time, the author explains (in the end of the book), that children actually do expect us, the parents, to pass them some scenarios, since these life programs structure their (children’s) time and provide a sort of guidelines to the future.

That means we cannot totally refuse to give a scenario and have zero expectations but there should be a very delicate balance between the mom’s and dad’s view of life and the child’s generic layout (these are the best words I could find to express my thought, hope it was clear).

Hence, I see my primary task as a mom to avoid destructive judgment as much as possible and moreover – avoid expecting certain behaviors, certain words and certain actions from my children – based on my personal prejudices. It’s hard and I catch myself that I enjoy it when my kids copy me in different ways. But at least I am aware, which makes things a little easier to cope with.

Success of Failure, huh?

But let’s go back to the frame of the scenario (or in other words – mom’s expectations). The frame is a binary thing – like a “success” or “failure”, while the small details consist the contents of this scenario and make it happen. I know it sounds weird to mention failure because no sane parent would wish failure scenario for their children, but some parents, unfortunately, have an unconscious tendency to failure and pass it to their offspring without thinking. Therefore, I do mention failure, as Eric Bern did in his book. I even know some “failure” cases from life, so it’s not a myth at all.

So where lies the line between constructive judgment and the freedom of children’s actions where the parents stands aside and watches no matter what it is? It’s an unresolved mystery to me, and I do my best to take the lessons life generously offers me every day.

Moms’ life rule – thinking, trusting, treating

The three “T” rule became my rule for life since I became a fresh mom many years ago.

The first T: Think less, breath more

“Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” Ed Asner

http://www.happyworker.com/supermom/mom-quotes#.WC__CCTn–c

It’s not that I don’t like the process of thinking and having this inner dialogue with myself. But not when it begins to control my time and my energy.

From empirical perspective, most of the thinking I’ve done in my life was absolutely useless. It’s hard to admit. It’s the same thing like saying – I wasted tons of time – my only precious resource, a resource will never come back.

Since I started meditating on a continual basis I realized, that conscious breathing and chaotic thinking do not come together. Try it yourself and you’ll see, that it is impossible to concentrate on the flow of air coming in and out your nostrils while your brain is working on a problem at the same time.

Conscious breathing or meditation (choose the most appealing word, even aqualung will do), is what helps mom (and soldiers on a battle field, managers or hunting tigers) freeze the leaks of energy and gain powers.

Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young” – Unknown

http://www.happyworker.com/supermom/mom-quotes#.WC__CCTn–c

Why is it so important?

Moms need energy more than any other human beings. Moms are on non-stop demand (guess by whom). Moms eat on the go. Moms never really sleep. Moms are expected to multitask and still look good (no, really?). Hyper responsible moms have no time to visit cosmetologists (they only have time to put sunglasses to try and hide the blue circles under their eyes). Moms don’t have time for gyms (fitness at home – yes. Aqua aerobics = mopping the floor, weightlifting = picking up the baby, cardio = running between the kitchen, the bedroom and the bathroom). In short, moms DO need an effective and affordable way to keep themselves afloat.

Disclaimer: when I say “think less, breath more”, I do not mean this nonchalant style of living when your motto is “this will never happen to you”. All I am saying is, worry less about hypothetical things. Most of our fears do not come true.

The second T: Trust your intuition

Moms (especially first-time moms) are walking receivers of never-ending advice, remarks, question and criticism from relatives, friends, colleagues and even female strangers on the street.

“Oh, watch it, the edge of your child’s blanked is on the ground…”

“It’s so cold, your child’s hat is 30 degrees on the left than it should be, the tip of his ear is exposed…”

“Do you breastfeed?”

“Do you breastfeed at night as well? You shouldn’t do it, you know”

“You should give yourself some time off, ask your husband to stay with the baby from time to time”

“Don’t pick up your baby, he will get used to it and will never want to stay off your arms”

“The baby must get used to sleep in her own room after the first month.”

“The baby must sleep in her parents’ bedroom until she is at least one year old”

“Never breastfeed in bed”

“I always used to breastfeed in bed, it’s the most comfortable way to do it”

“Never put the baby in bed with you, you might accidentally strangle him”

“Always put the baby on you, stomach to stomach, it will relax her fast”.

And the list never ends.

I’ve learned to trust my intuition right from the beginning, taking apart my own feeling and professional advice. It’s true, that sometimes you have to shut up and listen to what the nurse or the doctor says. It’s true, that moms need to be open minded. However, this does not contradict something very basic, that all women bear in themselves, but do not always let it pop out – our intuition.

It comes handy in a million of situations starting with a newborn, then a toddler, then a schoolkid, a teenager and so on. Actually, trusting your intuition stretches far beyond your motherly duties. But since it’s a mom-focused blog, I will not spread on other things.

So – mom and intuition, just like in Sinatra’s song about love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage. I know moms who cannot make a single decision without asking for somebody’s opinion (though, paradoxically or not, they mostly ignore these advice. It’s more of a tradition – to ask everyone around). I don’t really know what they are doing that – lack of confidence? The urge to get an “official confirmation”?

I’ve never suffered from that and I’m happy to have always walked hand in hand with my inner feeling in every smallest details along my kids’ growth:

  • how many layers of clothes to put on my kid when the weather is unstable?
  • does he cry because he’s hungry or just to get my attention
  • is she really sick or does she pretend only to skip a day in school?
  • is it a good idea to make him read a book now or better do something else?
  • Should I let them watch cartoons and rest or force myself into some activity?
  • Should I allow another piece of chocolate or should I play the strict mom this time?
  • When they fight – should I be the judge or let them try to figure it themselves?
  • Should I praise my kids for every little thing or let them know my honest opinion about the drawing (sculpture, toy-tower)?

These questions are endless. There is not a single book, person or website, that can clearly answer them and give mom the perfect advice for every small occasion. It simply does not exist, because we, humans, are meant to respond and not react in an automatic way (if a then b).

The third T: Treat yourself well

This one is my favorite. As Christmas time is approaching, I find myself spending amounts of cash on gifts, trying to remember everyone – from the cleaning lady’s dog to the painting teacher.

Somehow we, moms, tend to neglect ourselves in this messy gift-buying process. Or maybe we secretly hope someone will get us something magical, like a medium-sized diamond ring or at least two tickets to the opera. Sometimes it actually happens, but to count on that? Seriously? Remember: a mom needs constant supply of positive energy since her energy expenses are enormous, extending far beyond financial amounts she can possibly spend. Mom’s happiness stands above all (of course, that still does not give moms the indulgence to do certain things). Don’t listen to those who say, that happiness cannot be bought. Of course not – in the broad sense of the word. But when it comes to treating and spoiling yourself with little necessities, no one can do it better than mom herself.

Face oil, black lacy stockings, earrings from a bijouterie shop – yes, there are things than money can buy and provide a temporary splash of joy. The problem does not lay in the money. It’s the attitude.

 

 

inspiration

The unknown school girl who inspires me

Every time I take my daughter back from school I see school children from older classes (about 13-14 years old) who share the same bus and we always sit opposite to each other. Two girls and two boys. I like watching them laugh, joke and flirt with each other. It’s refreshing to remember oneself in this age and I wonder where it has gone.

One of the girls looks like a potential movie star:– ideal face features, tanned skin, sunny smile. Of course she is fully aware of it and uses the opportunity to spread the light of youth and energy to every direction (my direction gets the most since I sit quite close).

So every time I feel like an “old”, heavy mom burdened with endless duties, the image of this happy girl emerges in my imagination. I see her spotless, untouched joy of life and some portion of it gets inside me, too. I become her for a while.This is what I call positive inspiration.

Mom needs a constant source of inspiration, even if she is a bookkeeper.

Life with children is a marathon with dubious reward in the end. Expecting dividends of any kind is very wrong at its basics (my opinion), but we still secretly do, don’t we? We expect our kids to be this and that, we expect our life to look this and that. Some of us even think that we actually deserve something. This is where disappointment hits the most. Who knows what waits for an elderly mom:– caring, loving kids or dispassionate, indifferent adults who sometimes share the same last name with her.

That’s why I reach the obvious conclusion time and time again: it’s best to cherish the present, to dive into every given moment I spend with my children here and now. To worry less about the future and care more about what I do today to make our moments together vivid and memorable.

Every one of us can find these little sources of inspiration – if we only look closer. You don’t have to work hard: the muse of joy is light and natural, it will find you if you let it.

Once my current source of inspiration fades, I will surely find another.

“

Two men looked out from prison bars,

One saw the mud, the other saw stars.”

Dale Carnegie

mom style

Moms and style: can mom wear anything she wants?

Hear a joke: a mommy, who usually wears jeans, wears a skirt for the first time in a long time. Her 5-year-old son is looking at her in astonishment and says: “What? So you are a girl, mom?”

Is it too much?

As a mom, I feel high responsibility for the way I look, walk, talk etc., because there are two pairs of curious eyes watching me. I would like to be a role model for my daughter, and, therefore, I try to look gentle, feminine and stylish. On the other hand, when I need to make circles in the air taking the kids from school to music, from kindergarten to physiotherapy, then grab an ice-cream on the way, then make some quick grocery shopping I end up looking like… a stylish horse.

When you are a young and attractive girl, looking cool is not a big thing. You are irresistible and reckless, your schedule is concentrated around yourself and, therefore, wearing skirts, heels and leather jackets is more than natural.

But when you are 30+, with kids, debts and a flood of useless thoughts, finding your style is a huge challenge. In your head, you are a princess, but in reality you are the princess’s horse.

The princess horse

From my own experience, there are two main things that bring you closer to the princess and a bit farther from the horse.

  • Lose weight unless you belong to the rare category of people who are completely content with that number. Mothers with lower weight usually look younger from far away, even when wearing inexpensive clothes. If you like the way you look, and don’t want to lose a pound, look at advice number 2:
  • Skirts, dresses and heels. Yes, they are not as comfortable as your favorite jeans, and you don’t have to wear 10 cm heels and mini skirt when picking up your child from the kindergarten (the teachers will not necessarily appreciate it). Yet keep a few comfy dresses (that make YOU look very good) and mid-high heel elegant shoes for walks in the park with the kids (even if there is playground with sand. What is the worst thing that can happen? Some sand is good for your shoes).

Of course these advice won’t work if you don’t care that much how you look, if you adore yourself the way you are and don’t want to change a thing. But most of us, mothers-women, do look for a change, especially when our kids reach the age when they express their thoughts about the way things and people around them look like. For me, the biggest motivation for losing weight and keeping myself in shape is my daughter, who still thinks I am not in shape. At least, there is a mini-purpose in life.